The country is a favourite with the Royal family, who holiday at Balmoral castle in Royal Deeside. We all know where we were when Diana died. After ten days, your haggis cuttings should sprout little white fingers. So at the funeral we got him a wreath in the shape of a lifebelt. On his way out the door with the loot, one brave Scottish customer grabbed the hood and pulled it off revealing the robber's face. Kilts originated in Ireland, tartans have been found in Bronze Age central Europe and bagpipes are thought to have come from ancient central Asia. At the end of the December harvest them, and put them in a dark cupboard for about 3 weeks.
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The most brutal joke ever told, by Frankie Boyle
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